East is east and west is west!

Introduction: Mark Twain once wrote, “The east is east and the west is west and never the twain shall meet.” Sometimes, I wonder what it was that prompted him to say that. Of course, there is a world of difference between the two worlds. But I am curious as to what exactly was running in his mind at the time that he wrote this!

Was it about the way we dress up, our food habits, our lifestyle or our sexual life? Well, looks like the differences are quite well pronounced.Talking about the differences in our sexual lives, I vividly remember this particular meeting that I had with my childhood friend who visited me after almost two decades of staying in the US.

So, at that time while I was well into marriage and on the threshold of motherhood, my friend apparently had never given marriage a thought. She thought that she was not yet ready for the kind of commitment that marriage brought along with it.

That kept me wondering for a long time: If she was not ready for commitment even on the wrong side of twenties, how was she controlling her libido and satiating her biological need. I was so naïve to even think that way! I mean of course, she meant that she was not ready for marriage and I probably never understood what she said between the lines!!

She must have read my mind! Looking at my puzzled expressions, she clearly understood that either I was too confused with her random revelation or I was just too naïve to understand anything. Either ways, thankfully she came around with her explanation.



This is what she had to say:

Anita, my friend said that growing up in America, there were loads of Indian things that she missed as a child and a teenager. For instance she missed all her best friends, her relatives, the celebration of festivals and the general camaraderie that she was hooked on to in India but if there was something that she loved about being in America and never ready to trade is the sexual freedom that she enjoys.

Now, let me make it clear:

Anita belongs to a family where her parents have raised her up in a conservative background but when she was in her mid teens they gave her the freedom to be able to decide what is good for her. Both her parents who were doctors were probably smart enough to understand that America is different from India in that they could not control their own environment and the influence was bound to have an effect and bearing on her.

And they did exactly what they ought to have done:

One day, they sat her with them over coffee when she was celebrating her fourteenth birthday and explained to her that since they were busy professionals in a foreign land and since Anita had no one to supervise over her back home and in school, they wanted to make sure that they gave her an insight of everything that they thought was important.

They categorically told her rules about dating even to the extent of using sex toys provided and provided only that she didn’t get herself pregnant before marriage. Now imagine, our parents back in India sitting us down and talking about bees and birds and giving us that kind of an insight! Unimaginable!! And I sat there gaping at her with my jaws dropping till they almost touched the ground!

She reasoned: I made a face when she referred to sex toys and she said, “C’mon!”

She reasoned that as teenagers, it is natural that American kids explore their sexuality and that is also the time that they understand their own sexual preference. And it is a given that they all use adult toys!

“Look at it this way”: She further reasoned that if the teens are allowed the use of Adult Products India , it is unlikely that they would seek pleasure with someone else or become impregnated with a partner. She sounded suavein her arguments and quite convincing. She said using adult toys helped avoid STDs and even AIDS. What better reason would anyone want now?!

That set me thinking: If there are so many advantages to using sex toys then why is it that they are banned in our country? Surely, a teen is a teen anywhere. Why do we not give our teens the freedom of choice that is a given in the west? While I pondered and kept searching my conscience, Anita took my leave. I hugged her thanking my stars that I had an insight of people who grow up in the other side of the world. I thank god that I am a sensitive parent today only because of that one conversation I had with Anita that day!

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